This morning I got up before daybreak and sat outside watching as first light started to appear over the mountains to the East. Before that moment I had an opportunity to observe a star shining brightly in the darkened skies above. With the appearance of first light, the brightness of the star diminished until it was no longer visible to my eye. I sat and considered what I had just observed. How similar it is to the presence of God in my life. The star continues to shine with brightness whether I can see it or not. God is always an influence in my life, whether I perceive Him or not. What an incredible reality to know that I am under His care and protection no matter what may be occurring in my life at that moment. That star is the evidence of my personal limitations and yet it offers me an opportunity to think outside of myself and catch a glimpse of the goodness of God.
That moment of awareness invited me to look within and to see my own frailty. It opened a door to understanding that man is continually consumed with self-interest and pride. Instead of placing the things that surround me in nature as objects which draw my attention, I am give the gift of understanding my place in that natural setting, so that I can behold what God has done in giving me life. I am part of the setting, not the object of the setting. As that awareness deepens I came to feel a sense of relief that I am not the object, but rather I am only a reflection of His great love for us. It was like a burden was lifted off of my shoulders and I could see life in another dimension. In that freeing moment I am given the privilege to consider the grandeur of God, His magnificence. In that moment I am freed from the arrogant demands of self and given an opportunity to understand my place in His creation. When I stop and consider myself from that perspective, I become humbled by the thought that the God who made everything, also took the time to make me and provide for my life in His world.
So I am just a brief mist that will soon vanish from this life. But I am gifted by His awesome presence in my life and the events of the world in which I live. That He foreknew me and had already written the chapters of my life. He knew how badly I would fail and all those that I would injure in my struggles to be “free”. Yet the truth is, that it is only now that I am truly free to be the man that God created. As I yield my selfishness to His loving care, He produces in me a new heart and new desires. I am no longer consumed by the intense restlessness which ruled so much of my life. Instead I am captivated by a love that refused to let go of me when I walked the pathways of self-destruction. Who am I that the Creator of the Universe would concern Himself with my petty needs and selfish demands? I only know at this point in my life, that I have been given an incredible gift in coming to an awareness of His blessings upon my life. I have found life within His life and I am thoroughly content with my portion.